Glossary
What is a meltdown?
Also called: autistic meltdown, autism meltdown, meltdown vs tantrum, ADHD meltdown
Definition
A meltdown is an involuntary loss of control in response to overwhelm, when a child's nervous system has taken in more than it can cope with; unlike a tantrum, it is not aimed at getting something and the child cannot simply stop.
What it means
The word is used mostly about autistic children, and also about children with ADHD or high anxiety. A meltdown builds up from things like noise, crowds, hunger, tiredness, a sudden change of plan or a long day of masking. When it tips over, the child’s fight or flight response takes charge and reasoning is not available to them for a while.
A tantrum usually has a goal, such as getting the sweets, and often eases when the goal is met or the audience leaves. A meltdown carries on regardless and ends when the child’s body has calmed down. The same child can have both, and it isn’t always easy to tell them apart in the moment.
Some children go the other way and shut down: they go quiet, freeze or stop responding. This is also a reaction to overwhelm.
What it can look like for your child
Screaming, crying, hitting out, throwing things, running off or curling up on the floor. Afterwards many children are exhausted, embarrassed or don’t remember much of it. You may spot warning signs beforehand, such as covering ears, pacing, repeating a phrase or getting louder and faster.
How counselling can help
During a meltdown the priority is safety and less input: fewer words, less noise and space. Counselling works on the time before and after. With your child, we map what tends to build up to a meltdown and what their early signs are. We help them find calming things that work for their body, and we help you plan for the hardest parts of the week. Children often feel huge shame about meltdowns, and talking about that matters too.