Glossary
What is school refusal?
Also called: EBSA, emotionally based school avoidance, emotionally based school non-attendance, EBSNA, school avoidance, school can't, anxiety-based school avoidance
Definition
School refusal, now often called emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA), is when a child finds it extremely hard or impossible to go to school because of anxiety or emotional distress, rather than choosing to skip it.
What it means
Many local authorities and educational psychologists in England now prefer the term EBSA, because “refusal” suggests a choice the child often doesn’t feel they have. Some families say “school can’t” for the same reason. It is different from truancy, where a child misses school without parents knowing and often doesn’t seem anxious about it.
The causes are usually a mix. Common ones include anxiety, bullying, friendship problems, unmet special educational needs, sensory overload, a change of school or teacher, worry about something at home and illness in the family. Autistic children and children with ADHD are more likely to struggle. The longer a child is out of school, the harder going back tends to feel.
What it can look like for your child
Stomach aches and headaches on school mornings that ease at weekends. Tears, panic or anger at the door, getting dressed very slowly, or refusing to get out of the car. Some children manage the gate and then go to the toilets and stay there. Sunday evenings and the end of holidays are often the worst.
How counselling can help
We try to understand what specifically makes school feel unbearable, because the answer shapes everything else. We work on the anxiety with your child, and with your consent we speak to the SENCO or pastoral lead about a gradual, planned return and reasonable changes in school. Seeing Gitta in school can itself be a small step back in. We also support parents, who often feel blamed and under pressure from every side.