Glossary
What is masking?
Also called: masking autism, autistic masking, camouflaging, social camouflaging, ADHD masking
Definition
Masking is when an autistic or otherwise neurodivergent person hides or suppresses their natural responses and copies the behaviour of people around them, so they appear to fit in, often at a high cost in energy.
What it means
Researchers often call it camouflaging. It covers things a child may do consciously or without realising: forcing eye contact, rehearsing what to say, copying a friend’s laugh, holding back stimming such as flapping or rocking, and putting up with noise or textures that hurt. Children with ADHD can mask too, by working very hard to look attentive.
Masking is common in autistic girls, which is one reason they are often diagnosed later, but boys mask as well. Studies with autistic adults have linked years of heavy camouflaging with exhaustion, anxiety and low mood. A child who masks is not being dishonest. They have learned that being themselves gets them into trouble or left out.
What it can look like for your child
School says your child is fine, quiet and polite, and you are not sure they are talking about the same child. At home they shut themselves in their room, cry over small things or explode as soon as the front door closes. They may have a “school voice”, script their conversations or come home and need hours of screen time or a particular game to recover. Teachers may be surprised when you raise autism at all.
How counselling can help
A counselling room can be one of the few places where a child doesn’t have to perform. We don’t expect eye contact or sitting still, and we tell children that. Over time we help them notice when they are masking and how much it costs, and find small places in the week where they can drop it. We can also help you explain to school what you see at home.